I hurt the love of my life

I hurt the love of my life of 22 years with my ugly words.

I called him terrible things with the intent to make him feel absolutely horrible and it was so bad that he could only see hatred dripping from my presence.

I am so disgusted in myself and I know an apology would not ever suffice because it is impossible to unring a bell. Please god, shelter our love as you always have and please know how sorry I am.