God, I have missed you so much. I have ignored you for so long that I am ashamed. I never say thank you, and blame you for not being there for me in times of trouble, when you are truly there. I just feel lost and alone since my mom died and so disconnected from you. I know it is your plan and life changes and moves on, but it is so hard to understand pain and anguish. I want to come back. I know I have disregarded every sign to me that it was time for me to change and now change at this time is so painful. Please forgive me for my sloth. Please help me earn enough money to care for my son and keep my home in a job where the people are kind and true. Please help me to somehow forgive my former bosses and forget the distress. Please help my former bosses to forgive my indiscretions. Please reveal yourself in some way to me because I don?t know which direction to turn and I am so confused as to what is right and what is wrong and when I should fight and when I should walk away. Amen.