Dear Lord, I know it?s easier to pray but sometimes it?s good to know it?s physically going somewhere. I am so scared, but i think you know that. i am afraid to give up my baby. I need your help. I need to know that I am doing the right thing and that I?ll survive. Sometimes I am not so sure, like right now, and it kills me to think I?d be loosing my baby for nothing. Are you proud of me? Is this the right thing? Am i going to be okay? I feel sick inside when i think of those people driving off with my baby. I want to feel good about this. Please, give me peace for my decision. its not one i can take back after its said and done. I want to be happy, i want to have a good life. i want to find someone who loves me like crazy and marry them in the temple. i?m so scared. will you help me? will you let this go smoothly? i know we are given tests to strengthen us but will this break me? are you making me stronger? Please god, i cant do this by myself. i want to know that you are there for me. how do i strengthen my faith? i promise i?ll read the scriptures tonight. i need you. help me with my faith that you?ll help me through this because it?s the right thing to do. the prophet has couseled us to give the baby a family. i need your help to go through with it…please help my family be a help to me. help my mom. help all of this. help me not to hate karen and brady. i love thee Lord. i want to feel your love because i?m scared. i want to know all of this is true, because i have been so lost for so long. i dont want to be lost anymore. i need guardian angels. please help Ruth to know that this is good. help me to know this. help my sister have her baby complication free, and that this little angel will be healthy. please bless my little angel to be healthy. forgive me for any harm i mightve done to him. i am so ashamed. forgive me Lord. help me get over Andrew. help me to have perspective. give me your wisdom and your strength. i need to know that you have a plan for me, and it includes letting karen and brady love this baby. help me help me help me. i love thee Lord, thank you for this beautiful world. i write these things in the name of Jesus Christ, my Savior who died for me because he loved me, amen.