Dear God, Forgive me for not loving the life you?ve given me and for not a faith strong enough to believe things will get better. After all I?ve been through it?s difficult to have hope because I know that as bad as things are, they can still get worse, and I am so afraid of what else could happen. I don?t think I can take much more. If you?re allowing these things to happen to bring me closer to you, please give me eyes to see and ears to hear what you?re trying to tell me, because I don?t get it. I?m so scared and I am so lonely. I miss him, God. I miss our life together and I just don?t understand why, after 31 years together, it had to end, and how he could move on with someone else the way he did. Please, help me to help myself. Lead me where you want me to go, because I am lost.