I get so discouraged I masturbate once a week for about 2 hours….

I think maybe I can live without this, but it seems to be a pattern of about 20 years.

I feel that even try following God, might as well give up.

Forgive me, almighty god, for my sins

forgive our sins, save us from the fires of hell, and lead all souls to Heaven, especially those in most need of your Mercy.