God to fugitive for my wrong choice

Dear God,
I am shamed of myself.
Because you help me in 2018 and 2020 to improve my financial status.
I bad admiration my financial such as use for unnecessary material.
Now again I have got bills of 16K.
I total understand if you are not believe or trust me.
I can promise you. If I have received 16K today or this month I will pay all my bills and clean name.
I am embraced to be denied credi card or loan. Also I need tree months to improve myself. Please help those bills go again all help me to pay to bills.
I am sorry God for not believe in you or see you, humiliated you you could help other people. but you help me and trust me. I make two mistakes I am sorry god.
I love you, God.
Warm regards
Lia Jordan