Dear Jesus’ need me to hold on to you and you to stay with me as i always mess up and i do not want to go to the lake of fire as i feel i am there now.

My life has been riddled with addiction and i have burnt all of my bridges with ex-wives and my children! I gave away so much due to the terrible life i have led. I am broken and today said some horrible things to my fiancé and do not deserve her . I just keep screwing up. There is no positive consistency in anything i do other than addictive things. I cannot live this way anymore . I need you soo bad to love me and keep reading your word .

Like everything else i do I start then stop and then mess up. I made my latest mistake 15 yrs ago and met a woman half my age and went with here and now 15 yrs later she has devoted her life to me and what did i do? i screwed up her life and need to make more money and go back to work to find another job and stop procrastinating as i need to get her a place to live. My intentions are all sincere but she is very angry as bad words cut deep and i fear she is looking to punish me.,

Please once again i pray here now for your forgiveness and her’s as well. I need you to bring and {i beg for this} CHRISTIAN AND SPIRITUAL people in my life as i live outside of the states now to help me change me into thew person you want me to be. I need a job and i want everything i do to be honest and i just want to follow your word and stop with my addictions. Help me and forgive me for all my lies and sins. I realize i must invest in you as my lord and savior an the cross for all the bad sins i have created that you died for.

Please kelp me remain consistent in my spiritual and recovery growth because without you i am nothing and will never have any peace success in my life in anything i try and pursue!!.