no clue I need to get this

I need to get this off my chest. I suck at following God, I suck at obeying, my life SUCKS anyway. I am trapped in an ongoing stagnet terrible situation I can’t get out of.

Anyway on to my sins…they are-saying God’s name in vain, bad words, bad-evil-sexual thoughts, masturbation, not always being kind, and some times wasting my time.

I would to obey God better, but I feel he has forsaken me!….if I could ever feel his love and if he could help me in my situation, I think it would motivate me to obey and be better out of love and desire instead of just to obey the rules.

God if you’re out there; come into my life and save me, not only my soul but be delivered out of my situation, a situation I can?t change or outlast (I have no power to affect). I ask for forgiveness, newness, washing away of sins and impurity, and to be a new person in God. But I need you God to show up, or I will just keep sinning out of despair and unmet needs. -end-