To my Heavenly Father, I reach out to you as a cry for help. I’ve had a really rough time this entire year and only pray for blessings as I enter my 25th.
The end of my relationship with Chris, quitting my job, losing my apartment, the sexual assaults, the crazy dates, losing my best friend, hurting Josh and ultimately losing him, my speeding ticket, my dad being homeless and mentally incapacitated or just my overall depression has broken my heart. I’m trying to learn and be better. I need a push. These last few months, struggling to pay my bills, working part-time employment, fixing things with my car, fixing my grad school life, and pushing forward to succeed is just too much. The only thing I ask sincerely for is a chance to prove myself. I need a full time position that can help me excel in all attributes so I can one day become the person you crafted me to be. I wish there was more I could do but I try to be a better person everyday truly and I’m at a point where I don’t know what else I can do. There’s people in this world that need a lot more than me, I understand that.
But I’m begging you to hear my prayers. I pray that you allow Josh to forgive me. I love him with all my heart and I know that us staying away from each other is what is right so that we both can heal from whatever toxic relationship we had. I pray that you allow Norissa some kindness into her heart to understand I did not intend to be portrayed the way she feels, but I allow her those feelings because she is entitled to them. I pray for Jada that she finds herself as she finishes her schooling.
I pray that my mom stops smoking. I pray for Princess, Eli and Jacob as a family, that they continue to blossom. I pray for my dad, and also I pray for myself for that I may as forgiving to him as you are to your children. I pray for some sort of orthodox in my life as my entire life has been anything but ordinary. I would not like to blend in but I do wish for stability. I hope you hear me today. I love you God and I know you are only working towards my future how you intend it, but I’m at my wits end and need a change for the better.