I have been so weak please make me stronger

I am a person who loves but I am also a person who envies a person who feel like my life should be better than what it is.

But I feel like I upset someone that truly loves me and that’s God. I have poison my body I have poisoned my mind I have poison the only soul that was given to me.

I have acted out of anger I have acted out of jealousy I have acted out from betrayal, but as I open my eyes I see that it is more to this world than me just worried about things that are not meant to last.

And also as I open my eyes I see that this very soul and Temple that was given to me I have not been taking care of my mind body and soul and spirit is not healthy. I realize all I ever wanted and this life is to be successful. I need to know if the path that I am taking is relevant? I need to know if I can get one more chance and making my life better for me and my family and most of all my well being and my family’s well-being.

As much as I Cry and try to figure out my path because I become so lost in artificial happiness, and reality I’ve become a sad being. I want to be healthy again and as much as I want a marriage and the family life, if it does not come to me I’m fine with it.

I need you to help me because I’m lost there is nothing else I want more than to figure out where I need to be. I know time and time again you gave me to sign and I ignored them oh you know why. I have fallen and now it is an everlasting challenge to dig myself out.

But God please help me there is nothing I ever wanted more and felt more passion for my life but to have a positive one. Please help me in getting a positive life to set a positive example for my family. Even though you are upset at me, I have three innocent children that I would love to show a good life too. A life that I never had as a child.

My Children See Me struggle and it hurts me and I know it hurts them. I am writing to you because I am desperate, alone, and sad. Please wipe away my regret and my resentment I want peace and prosperity and I want to be able to look at my children and say I’m glad you’re going to be better than me now I know that we are going to be okay.

I know you sat back and watch my life for the last couple of years of me struggling with everything trying to find Short Cuts and Ways to be happy again…. I have reached my Breaking Point which means I’m looking for a sign from you to give me the go.

I work two jobs and it hurts me to know that my children are home I have to cook them for dinner before I leave for my second job and they have to eat dinner alone.

My soul hurts every day but still, I keep pushing it smiling at my future even though I don’t see it I never saw it but , this time I’m hoping for it …happy life where I can easily provide spend time with my family the way they deserve it I never envisioned my life to be this way ever since I was a little girl I want to get married and have a nice house and family I never thought I’d be a single mom struggling to pay bills with two jobs and don’t see my family I still don’t have enough money to make ends meet.

They mean the world to me. And it hurts it hurts God help me