How to truly forgive someone biblically?

How Do You Truly Forgive Someone Biblically?

Biblical forgiveness goes beyond words—it involves a heartfelt decision to release resentment, reflect God’s mercy, and seek peace. Rooted in Scripture, true forgiveness requires humility, compassion, and a willingness to let go of the desire for revenge.

Forgiveness is one of the most challenging but essential teachings in the Bible. It is not just an act of kindness but a command from God. The Bible repeatedly instructs believers to forgive others as God forgives them (Ephesians 4:32). However, many struggle with how to truly forgive, especially when deeply hurt.

So, what does true biblical forgiveness look like? How can we genuinely let go of resentment and find peace? This article explores the biblical steps to forgiveness, key scriptures, and practical ways to apply them.

1. Understanding Biblical Forgiveness

Before learning how to forgive, it’s important to understand what biblical forgiveness is and what it is not.

What True Forgiveness IS:

✅ A Decision, Not a Feeling – Forgiveness is an act of will, not based on emotions (Colossians 3:13).
✅ Letting Go of Resentment – It means releasing the burden of anger and bitterness (Ephesians 4:31-32).
✅ Trusting God’s Justice – True forgiveness does not excuse wrongdoing but entrusts justice to God (Romans 12:19).
✅ Reflecting God’s Grace – We forgive because we have been forgiven by God (Matthew 6:14-15).

What Forgiveness is NOT:

❌ Approving Sin – Forgiving someone does not mean justifying or excusing their actions.
❌ Forgetting Completely – The phrase “forgive and forget” is not biblical. Instead, we are called to let go of the offense’s control over us (Isaiah 43:25).
❌ Allowing Continued Abuse – Forgiveness does not mean allowing continued harm. Setting boundaries is wise (Proverbs 22:3).
❌ Requiring Immediate Trust – Trust must be rebuilt over time and is different from forgiveness.

2. Steps to Forgiving Someone Biblically

Step 1: Acknowledge the Hurt and Pain

• Before forgiving, you must be honest about the pain caused.
• Even Jesus acknowledged suffering before forgiving (Luke 23:34).
• Bottling up emotions can lead to bitterness (Hebrews 12:15).

📖 Key Verse: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18

Step 2: Pray for Strength to Forgive

• Forgiveness is not natural; it requires God’s help.
• Ask the Holy Spirit to soften your heart and give you the power to let go.
• Jesus instructed believers to pray for those who hurt them (Luke 6:27-28).

📖 Key Verse: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13

Step 3: Choose to Forgive

• Forgiveness is a choice, not a passive process.
• Decide to forgive even if your emotions resist.
• Holding onto grudges only harms you more than the offender.

📖 Key Verse: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” – Colossians 3:13

Step 4: Release Resentment and Let Go of Revenge

• Do not seek revenge or wish harm upon the person who hurt you.
• Leave judgment and justice in God’s hands (Romans 12:19).
• When thoughts of resentment arise, redirect them in prayer.

📖 Key Verse: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.” – Romans 12:17

Step 5: Speak and Act with Kindness

• This does not mean restoring trust immediately, but it does mean refusing to be hostile.
• Jesus commands us to love our enemies and do good to them (Luke 6:35).

📖 Key Verse: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” – Romans 12:21

Step 6: Set Healthy Boundaries (If Needed)

• Some situations require healthy distance (e.g., toxic relationships).
• Forgiveness does not mean allowing continued harm (Proverbs 22:3).
• Ask God for wisdom on whether to rebuild or release the relationship.

📖 Key Verse: “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.” – Proverbs 22:3

Step 7: Trust God for Healing and Justice

• Healing from deep wounds takes time.
• Keep seeking God’s presence, knowing that He will restore your peace.

📖 Key Verse: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3

3. Why Should We Forgive? Biblical Reasons

1. Because God Forgave Us First

📖 Ephesians 4:32 – “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

2. Because Jesus Commands It

📖 Matthew 6:14-15 – “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

3. Because Unforgiveness Harms Us

📖 Hebrews 12:15 – “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

4. Overcoming Common Struggles in Forgiveness

“What if they don’t apologize?”

• Forgiveness is about your relationship with God, not the offender’s response.
• Jesus forgave even while being crucified (Luke 23:34).

“What if I don’t feel like forgiving?”

• Feelings follow obedience.
• Start by making the decision, and pray for your heart to change.

“How do I know I have truly forgiven?”

• You no longer seek revenge or harbor resentment.
• You pray for the person and feel peace instead of anger.

5. Final Encouragement: Forgiveness Sets You Free

Biblical forgiveness is not just about the other person—it’s about your own freedom. When you release resentment, you experience God’s peace and healing.

✅ Forgiveness is a choice.
✅ It is a reflection of Christ’s love.
✅ It brings freedom and spiritual growth.

📖 Matthew 11:28 – “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

If you are struggling with forgiveness today, ask God to help you take the first step. His grace is always enough!