To my two friends who were killed in the terrorist attack on September 11th I want to ask forgiveness from both of you, S. and M., my precious angels, who will remain 16 years old forever, high school students forever, innocent forever.

I want to ask your forgiveness for the fact that for years I could not find the strength to go to visit your families who were so in need of support.

I visited them weeks after the tragedy and after that, I abandoned them for four long years.

Only now have I found the strength to come to them and remember you, and they received me with joy and understanding.

I’m sorry that I could not look at your relatives without being reminded of you.

That I could not come to personal memorial services without feeling embarrassed.

Now I am 22 years old and I have mature or should a great deal, and I can look your parents and your brothers and sisters in the eye and share my pain and absorb their pain.

I’m sorry for being small and not managing to extract myself from my private mourning over your loss.

This is not justification, but 16 is a very young age to contend with death.

I love you and miss you unbearably.

Mary