My mood has been much lighter since

Hey God, how are you doing? I know it has been a while…

old grudges die hard, huh? I’ve been okay – well, to be honest, not so much. You know the events in my life, so I suppose you understand what I’m going through.

My mood has been much lighter since I’ve been reading Conversations with God, but as uplifting as the books are and as optimistic as they make me feel about my own life I’m not sure how I can be sure that these books are not yet more fictitious horse apples written and put forth as being  “truth” to confuse those wanting and seeking meaning in their lives. (Wow, was that a run-on sentence or what?!)

How can I know? So, anyway, thanks for the lift in my mood over the last day or two. I suppose that even if these books are fiction, then it has been a good read. I must say something deep inside of me hopes that the God depicted in these books is in fact real. I guess my problem is that constant thought that nags me, ??I WANT to believe??…

I should change that somehow… and yet, I’m such a natural pessimist, cynic, and skeptic about these things. I don’t think I will ever know blind faith. So anyway, if you would, send me a sign or letter or whatever to let me know how YOU are doing. Oh, and please let me know somehow… I mean, if you really exist and such.

I know I shouldn’t be embarrassed, but if you don’t exist then this letter is nothing more than a letter to Santa Claus… so will you bring me that model train for Christmas then? Ha, I’m joking. So, I guess I’m supposed to end this thing with “Amen” or something, but that just seems too formal and I’m not really even sure what it means, so I’m just going to end with  Thanks and have a nice day??… and hopefully you caught the inside joke. PS.

Oh yeah, hey… I know I’m probably overstepping my boundaries here, but if you’re really there then will you do something to help R.

Get through this lawsuit without a stroke? Or maybe you could just help me to know of a way I can help to ease the process.

Okay, I’m really going to leave now then.

Let’s do lunch, eh?