I want Gods presence too!

Lord,

I just read a confession that echoes so much of what I feel…
But there’s something I need to admit I often sin on purpose. Even on church days. Even when I know better.

I won’t make excuses. I’ve chosen what I knew was wrong, and I’ve felt the consequences.
Boy, have I felt them. I know I deserve discipline… and I’ve been living it.

But even through all of this, I want to come back to You.
I want Your presence in my life again. I want to start over.
And yet I don’t always feel truly repentant. I’m not even sure why. Maybe my heart has hardened. Maybe I’ve grown numb.
But deep inside, something still aches for You.

I’m also struggling with things I don’t even like to say out loud addiction to pornography, and stealing drugs. I hate this cycle, but I keep going back. I’m ashamed. I feel stuck.

God, if You’re still listening and I believe You are please help me.
I don’t want to stay like this.
Even if I don’t feel sorry the way I think I should, I want to be different.
I want to feel clean. I want to be whole. I want to believe again.

Please forgive me. Please heal me. Please change me from the inside out.
I don’t know how to fix myself… but I know You can do what I can’t.

I’m asking for a new beginning.
God, help. Please.

How to Let Go: Real Stories of Forgiveness and Healing

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