Dear God – Maybe my praying line is not reaching you

Dear God,
Maybe my praying line is not reaching you
I want to say thank you for every blessing you gave me lately
for every passing day I wasted, and every tomorrow you set up for me
Thank you for always being beside me despite the fact that sometimes I question if you truly are.

God the past few months, ever since Darren left me was full of pretentious smiles and happy acts. I feel so lonely that not I haven’t even truly appreciated what it is that you have given me. I am scared that you might remove these comfortable things beside me if I don’t thank you enough but at the same time, I can’t truly appreciate it because my heart is still longing for the person who already left and continued his life without me.
My father, most powerful of all, Had to resist for so long to let Go
but now I want to but can’t because my heart keeps seeking that person my mind keeps imagining things that will never happen
and my heart keeps begging you hear me
God, instead of asking you like I normally do to return him to me, now I would want you to heal me and completely destroy every hope lingering in my heart that he would come back…because this very hope is the one that kills me daily too…

so please heavenly father and my brother Jesus, if it is truly against your will to be with me. please just remove him in my heart and mind so that I continue living without a painful stake in my heart