FORGIVE ME

Dear God,

I, Charmaine-Arne V. Mendez, come before You as one of Your wayward children. Yes, I am sinful and far from perfect.

But please know that I love You and truly praise You. I remember my school days, both in elementary and high school, filled with questions: Who are You? Who is God? Who is Jesus? I attended church services and masses at school, but I still didn’t know You.

Then, as the years passed, I faced tough battles. I would look to the saints we have in our room, experiencing a cycle of happiness and tantrums, but always ending the day by calling on You for help. Looking back, You’ve given me chances to fight and battles to conquer, but it is Your power that has truly turned the tables.

Despite this, I have cried my heart out many times. From suffering emotional and physical pain inflicted by my parents, failing in school, sacrificing sleep to support my parents, experiencing heartbreak from “the one that got away,” to facing financial struggles and job losses—I have endured so much. I’ve had to part with my beloved gadgets and settle for second-hand, worn-out things.

I’ve had to endure difficulties with my father, and though there have been improvements in our relationship, I still struggle with financial hardship. I believe I’ve come to know You better through my father, my teachers, and the Victory group teachings. But Lord, the test of faith is overwhelming me, and I feel weak most of the time.

Please forgive me. I am so tired of this life, and I am not one of Your toughest soldiers. In fact, I surrender. Can I just have a management position with a high salary? I am exhausted from enduring these battles. Can I receive my reward instead? Yes, I am a sinner, but I have also been a good person on this Earth.

Why can’t You see that? Why do I always have to suffer? Lord, God, please save me from these unfortunate events in my life. I feel like a thief, unable to voice my needs to my father. I am trapped by my own wrongdoings when all I want to say is that I am a victim of fate. Fate has often been unkind to me. I apologize for everything I have done in my past and present life. Please include the generational curses… I repent, Lord.

Have mercy on me. I am so tired. Save me, Lord. Please save me and forgive me.

Amen.