I know that the entire year I was doubting you, I even started denying your existence and your power. Now , I can see why all these happened to me, I had to be humbled in a way , even if it would have to wound me that deeply.
Please God , whoever you are , accept my sincere apology and forgive me for disrespecting you..
You know that I support scepticism in my life and I trust science, but I have always believed in soul, in something above me. This is God for me.
I do not go to church, I am not religious, but I noone can deny that I actually am a spiritual human being, that tries to interpret God way more than other people in its own way.
I believe in God, I just underestimated your powers and was lead to blasphemy just so I could oppose to my overally religious mother, whom I love but have also hurted with my words.
I want you to forgive me. I understand that I had to be punished, I ask you though to put a stop on my misery.
I fought hard and with honesty to become a doctor why you let this happen? Why this ? I am studying all of my life , I have sacrificed everything to get in med school and it just did not happen.. I was qualified, why this?
It is not my place to judge, I still want your forgiveness and a blessing to continue my life and achieve my goal at least next year. Please, make my life a little enjoyable, make it happen. You know what I mean. At least give me this , as soon as possible. If I have to do everything from scratch, I want to have managed to make a reality my second thought.
Make this happen. I have been punished enough. I have understood my mistake and I beg for your forgiveness.
Thank you for keeping me and my close friends and family members healthy, and thank you for giving me a nice home to live ..You know though that this summer costed me a lot and it was not fair for my effort. I accept it.
Please, from now on make everything better. I can study again, but I want my secondary issue to be resolved. It is not just an immature thought.. It would help continue and give me hope. I am not okay.
– Your child
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