Send help

Hello.
I hate myself. I hate myself for everything. I hate myself for not trying enough. I hate myself for easily getting tired. I hate myself for sabotaging my dreams.
I hate myself for always falling asleep. I hate myself for eating. I hate myself because coffee no longer works on my body. I hate myself for resting. I hate myself for getting interested into many things and not being able to focus on the things that I need to work on.
I hate myself for not being enough. I hate myself for being dumb. I hate myself for not understanding these fucking legal principles easily. I hate myself for having no discipline.
I hate myself. But I need to believe in myself now. I cannot let this body let me go. I cannot let this body give up on the dreams that I have been working on since I was born to this fucking world. I need to believe in me. I need to believe that I can do this. I need to believe that this is the time that I will finally be the lawyer I want to become.
Please send help God.

Dear God – Maybe my praying line is not reaching you