It hurts, but…

Three years. That’s how long it’s been since I moved here. Three years with a girl I am about to hurt very deeply. I hate myself for it, but I just… we aren’t compatable.

We rarely talk, and don’t do any of the same things. She expresses no real interest in me, though I try to find ways to connect. But she does love me, and takes care of me.

There has been someone else, a friend for a long time that I have grown closer to.

So come this spring, one day I will be here, the next, I simply won’t.

I know it will hurt her. She’ll be devistated, and I don’t want that. It does not bring me pleasure to hurt her, but I can not bring myself to live another year of a sham of a relationship. I just can’t. God… forgive me, and take care of the wounded creature I will leave in my wake.

I know no other way to bring closure to this. I never had a good example growing up, but I usually know right from wrong. Why now is it so hard to distinguish the lines?

Either way, I choose, someone is hurt. I just… I don’t know, right or wrong I think I have to choose for myself this time.