please guide me

God, I was raped when I was 9.

He was a family friend and I didn’t know what to do.

He made me give him oral sex while he video taped it.

I feel so ashamed! I know that I shouldn’t blame myself but I feel I should have said no.

I’ve been living with this for several years now and I still feel it’s my fault.

I’ve only seen him once since then but I was so scared of him doing it again.

What happens if he puts the video on the internet? God, Please help me! I don?t know what to do!

How to Let Go: Real Stories of Forgiveness and Healing