Please help me

I lazied for two years for no reason.

Everything is my fault and this minute too I’m wasting it.

I’m really sad that i did all that. I kept promising I’d do well from now on, but every time it’s a hollow promise.

And now I don’t have any more time.

Please help me god, show me some way to not make my mother upset, to not to fail in life.

I’m so lost, I don’t know how to get out of this. I feel trapped, please light some way, i want to start anew, please help me. I don’t want to promise anymore cause I myself doesn’t believe in my words anymore.

I wish to start studying better but i only have less than a month and my exam results will come to the end of this month. I’m so so so scared to ashame my mother. My cousin got full marks while I’m here scared that I’ll fail.

For the past two years, the lockdown have affected me a lot, I’ve turned to a lazy one, really. I procrastinate 99% of the day. I get zero things done.

I have neet in a month. I wish I was dead.

Please help me.