special…..and you know that.
I wanted to love it. I don’t know how genuine I was.
But this is what I thought I should do…I wish I could.
I wish there were no complexes, anxieties, or fears within me.
Their presence made me only look at her shortcomings instead of accepting her the way she was, accepting whatever she gave. I could not return anything; I have only returned pain and suffering.
She is the person who loves me more than I love myself.
She has resolved to hate me, and I know she will succeed because she loved me with the purest of hearts. I am a duffer, a loser…
I don’t know how much pain I have inflicted upon her because I never loved her, I just pretended to love her. I went a long way in wrongdoing, expecting I shall someday do it right.
But I couldn’t. My identity has been tarnished. Whatever I do, I feel a sense of incompleteness…but still, I think I am made for her….and someday I can remove all my burdens of fear, sorrow, anxiety, expectations…
Walk up to her and tell her ?? I love you, Ti, for whatever you have been to me, not for what I expected out of you. Do you want to give me a third chance and see what happens??.
I must not feel retarded by my expectations, and even if she is not in a position to return, I must feel demoralized but savor the concept that I at least could feel what she has given me, and I had that feeling within me to realign our lives.
I ask for forgiveness for whatever I did and blessings for what I want to do and make that day arrive as quickly as possible.
Till then, I request you to look after her…and guide her to do the right things with the right people.
This is because she is special…..
and you know that.
