taird of my life i wanna daie

i don’t know why god dont give me any happiness in my life since i get married i have some problems in my life my ex-husband he left me for his ex-wife then i get married again before i think everything doing god in my life i am so happy in my meregelife but after 3 years i find out my husband have affier with exgirlfriend i feel so bad bec

i am fat ugly that’s why he find another girl then we talk and everything going good but its still in my maind but i just control my self its gona be better one day then everything good now my husband when he drinks he fight with me then he told me everything bad about me and my family

i hate this why he always says bad about my family my mom dad not live to hear they dnot come to eat my husband s house why he always something bad about my mom dad now I get tird of all this i just wanna daie and i have another problem its been 3 years we get married

i don’t have any kids yet and i am tired to give answer to everybody now what am gona do i just say i have some problem in my body that’s why i can not get pregnant and 3 or 4 months i am gona take divorce then just kill my self i don’t wanna stay this all the time i have to crayyyyyyyyyy i am so tierd now please god help me or forgive me if i do something wrong ple