I’m so bad please help god, please

well it new year eve and im all alone my kids act they do not want me around an less they need something from me my son in law hates me my brother hates me

im bad i do not know why i do the things i do i tell god i will not do it no more than i do it all over again i want to be loved and wanted im a 100 pound over weight i grandkids hate me or they act it most of the time i daughter ask me over her husband want me to stay home all alone i cry cry cuss and repect then all over again

i do bad things i have got into trouble stealing i never did this before yil i hit 60 years old i repeat all the time even when i ask for god foreviness i do it again what wrong with me im so troubles some time i want to end my life but

i do not want to go to hell but i may go there anyway because i just bet god mad at me because im so bad mad unhappy pick at things i cry all the time i hate my self because i use to be good pretty now im ugle fat mean and you name it i have done except

i do not smoke nor do drugs my self god only knows how bad i am what can i do i think he is very mad at me help please help im all alone maybe god does not love me either it me not him im bad

m sorry i want to be good but im a degrade to all my kids grandkis daughters and two son people tell me my family im bad they do not want me around my brothers hate me to please pray for me i want the newyear to change for me or let me go god bless all of you saralee