- How much do you care what others think of you
- And why do we even bother with that?
- I do not care what people think of me
First, a clarification. It matters what people think of us. No matter what you are told, I do not care what people think of me, etc.. I believe it matters what people think of us. It is a fact that people make sure to dress respectfully, speak politely and behave according to what is accepted because we live in an environment of people. We are not alone in this world, so if I meet people every day, I want to create a good atmosphere and pleasant communication. On the other hand, there is a limit to how much I should act according to what they will think of me and between how much I should act because I believe in what I do.
Why do we even bother with what they will say about me?
Many of us are still consciously or unconsciously trying to fulfill our desire as children to be the ‘acceptable’, funny, or clowns of the gang. Think about it there are those who, as children, this was one of their most significant tasks.
Another point is that if we did not make a ‘V’ about it as children and even as adults, in any situation where we are not at the center of things that attention is not on us this wound will arise. Because I could not impress, say, influence, or even control this situation.
In such a case, we will experience insecurity that will be interpreted in such a way that we will say about others who did not understand us that they are stupid, critical, etc. Because it matters to me what they will say about me or how they will react. I need this Nablus pat and when it does not come, the frustration and anger come and this wound… hurts.
It all starts with us
Our self-confidence and self-belief affect the importance of what they say about us. And so the solution will come from ourselves. When we understand that we are judging ourselves, we can also begin to build and even develop higher self-confidence and self-worth.
It’s us – the real fear is of ourselves.
You once thought that our opinion of ourselves is usually less good than we think. That is, the criticism we attach to ourselves is ours, it comes from within us. The stories about what they think of us, we tell ourselves, we invented them if you did not notice.
True, we are! We are the ones who stop ourselves. They are not us. And continue to do it for ourselves because we are afraid. But instead of admitting it, it is easier to project our fears onto others and tell ourselves that because of them, we do not move and do not run. That is, through “What will they say?” And “they will be angry with me”, we remove the responsibility from ourselves and make our lives easier. It’s not us, it’s them. I actually wanted to, but I was afraid of getting hurt – yes, sure.
This discovery that we are afraid of what we think or might think of ourselves, on the one hand, can also release many fears, but the price is that it will make you remember and take out even things you do not like about yourself.