make me strong

Dear GOD

I have been so lost for a long time from your home. I have been miserable for so long. I have tried to be a good model for my kids and a strong wife my husband. I forget all about me. I put my family first. Now my heart is heavy like 1000000… gms of stone. I feel so much pain. I tried to raise above all but I feel down and I am above the dead and below the living.
Dear GOD, you know my paths how I stupid I was. How I trust people and I trust him with my heart and soul. But now I know my place in his heart and that makes me sick head to toe.

How am going to forget those nights. How can I clear my mind from this pain. My decision is going to affect my kids future.
I know I am a sinner I have been in a lot of bad roads but does this give him the right to miss treat me the way he does in those nights?

Dear GOD make me strong for my kids and my parents.