How can you forgive a person who has hurt you, especially if it is a person close to you and the trust is broken?
Forgiving is a significant and very important step for continuity in life. And if we are hurt by a close person, there may be some time to soften, and there may also be a situation where the injured party will forgive, but the relationship with him will not always be able to return to normal.
How hard it is for us to let go
The excuses work best because we retell the same story, recreate, feed on life, and water it.
When we cannot forgive and accept our situation, we deny forgiveness and build a high imaginary castle where we hide. And in this castle, there is a lot of guilt approaching confusion and anger, and sadness.
There was a boy with a marble that he had played with for a long time he decided to put it in a vase so he would not lose.
And when he wanted to take the marble out of a vase, he put his hand in and could not get it back, or it happened to his mother, who tried by force his father put oil soap also failed until one of the wise neighbors came and told him that to release the hand he had to release the marble…
And how much we are not willing to let go of weight weights, but when we are forgiven… we will receive our lives as a gift!
Do not forgive do not forget
There are things that can not be forgotten. But yes, it can be put aside in a place that will not hold us back.
In forgiveness, there is giving up, acceptance, inclusion, and mental and physical balance that directly affect our health.
When we do not forgive, we carry great pain and distress, which can adversely affect our health – blood pressure, cholesterol, heart rate, and sleep quality and even cause illness.
When we do not forgive, we repeatedly experience revenge, hostility, bitterness, anger, fear of future harm, and sometimes even depression.
All of these feelings have mental and physical consequences for our health.
How do we know we have forgiven?
- Revenge
- anger
- A new relationship
Revenge
When we do not wish or think of the person who has hurt us badly, we will pray for his success, and we will have the power to forgive him.
We may still feel hurt or angry, but we manage not to hope for that person’s downfall and not even feel the need for revenge.
The lack of any forgiveness is a sign of cruelty. The desire for revenge and a situation where we wish someone bad things indicate a defect in the personality that requires correction. It is always important to remember that when I forgive, I do not justify the behavior of the other.
Anger
At this point, we may not be willing to treat that person as we did before, but we stop being angry or feeling hurt and can move on and let go to the point where we no longer carry feelings of anger.
And sometimes, it takes time and effort to eliminate inhibiting emotions.
Restoring the relationship
At this point, complete forgiveness. Not only did we forgive Adam, but we completely understood him and accepted him anew.
At this point, we are restoring the relationship.
If we wish that person all the best, we can still achieve a more basic level of forgiveness.
We can still stop being angry and give that person basic respect.
We can still greet them when we see them and give them the respect that every person deserves.
Every little improvement in a relationship is essential and has a profound effect on our sense of happiness. Take the first step now.
Forgiveness does not require maintaining contact with the offender
It is important to remember that after being injured, it will not be the same. Forgiveness cleans but does not allow the wheel to be turned back.
You must understand that we do not have the option to turn the wheel back and return to exactly the same point we were at before the incident. When someone is hurt… the relationship with him will be different. And it can be good, less good, and even irrelevant.
On the way to forgiveness, we will most likely meet the ego. And after choosing to put it aside, we will find a sense of relief and release. And how much space will be left for us for new things in business, in relationships in the family for ourselves?
And what about forgiving ourselves?
We all made a mistake somewhere along the way, we did something we regret, something we are not proud of, ashamed of ourselves, remorseful, angry with ourselves.
What has been done should not be returned or deleted, but it is time to take the reins and choose to forgive ourselves. – Because this is our life
Forgiveness is change. The goal of forgiveness is to cleanse, learn to contain, be less offended and judgmental, become stronger and deal with separations and disappointments because forgiveness begins and ends in our inner discourse with ourselves.
Forgiveness releases a suffocating coin that soothes our lives and releases guilt and revenge.